Self-regulation in close relationships

Abstract

In the past 20 years, greater attention has been devoted to the study of self-regulation in an interpersonal context. This review summarize this work and presents findings on how self-regulation processes influence close relationship outcomes. The review is organized around the four ingredients of self-regulation (i.e., standards, monitoring, self-regulatory capacity, and motivation). For each ingredient, we discuss their influence on relationship processes and dynamics. In the standards section, we discuss the literature on approach/avoidance, promotion/prevention, goal conflicts between partners, and interpersonal goal support. In the monitoring section, we describe how partners' monitoring of each other's goal progress affects relationships. We also highlight that research on this topic is scant. In the self-regulatory capacity section, we discuss findings on how self-regulatory capacity is associated with relationship maintenance behaviors. In the motivation section, we review the literature on commitment and its impact on relationship dynamics. Finally, for each ingredient, we address an important avenue for future research.