‘I Never Got Out of that Locker Room’, an Autoethnography on Sexual Abuse in Organized Sports

Abstract

This autoethnography documents the emergence and persistence of the sexual abuse I experienced by multiple male peer athletes in a youth sports setting. The testimony signals how my presence in the locker room felt like a space invader for the group, resulting in numerous micro-behaviours, group formation processes, and shifting norms, which led to sexual abuse. Based on the notes and writings in my diary, a thick description is produced, to help facilitate an understanding of the culture in which the abuse took place. I offer my story as a pedagogical resource to incorporate in bystander education programs to teach trainers and coaches about the toxic and harmful interactions and dynamics that can emerge in male team sports because of a dominant, masculine, team culture.