Toward understanding understanding: The importance of feeling understood in relationships

Abstract

People want to be understood by others, yet their perceptions of being understood are only modestly related to actually being understood by others. In this article, we provide an integrative theoretical model and review of research on the processes that contribute to feeling understood and misunderstood by others. The model highlights situational, dispositional, and relational factors that influence feeling understood and underscores the importance of feeling understood for relationship and personal well-being. We also clarify definitional and measurement issues that have impeded progress in prior research.